


Rule #20

by splot



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Boredom, Gen, Multi, Reasons Bucky and Natasha aren't allowed to have hobbies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-21
Updated: 2014-02-21
Packaged: 2018-01-13 06:27:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1216033
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splot/pseuds/splot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Darcy's first week at the Tower, a whiteboard appeared on the fridge on the common floor, with a set of handwritten rules. Because, dammit, if someone took the food with her name on it one more time, someone was meeting the sparky end of her taser. At first they were just written by her, then added to by Natasha (#9: Don't sneak up on Natasha. She will not be responsible for her actions), Clint (#13: Don't tease Clint's trick arrows. The putty arrow can go off at anytime in your belongings.) and Tony (#20: Natasha and Bucky aren't allowed near knives and ping-pong paddles at the same time.)</p>
<p>You know it's a necessary rule when Tony Stark, the man who's always saying things like "WOW DO THAT AGAIN, LETS BLOW IT UP THIS TIME" is telling them to put away the knives.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rule #20

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a gif on tumblr. More rambling at the end.

After Darcy's first week at the Tower, a whiteboard appeared on the fridge on the common floor, with a set of handwritten rules. Because, dammit, if someone took the food with her name on it one more time, someone was meeting the sparky end of her taser. The rules started off in her looping cursive, and was eventually joined by Natasha's neat print ( _#9: Don't sneak up on Natasha. She will not be responsible for her actions._ ), Clint's nearly illegible scrawl ( _#13: Don't tease Clint's trick arrows. The putty arrow can go off at anytime in your belongings._ ), and Tony's shorthand, deciphered by Jarvis and rewritten underneath in Steve's neat cursive;  _#20: Natasha and Bucky aren't allowed near knives and ping-pong paddles at the same time._  
The last one had good reasoning that everyone agreed on, after a particularly boring day for the two ex-KGB.

* * *

 

Disney movies were a Thursday night ritual for Avengers and their cohort, usually picked by Darcy, as she was the only one who had knowledge of such movies. After a hilarious viewing of  _Tangled_ , the group spread around the common floor. Bruce and Tony were trying to work out if it was possible for hair to carry a human so high, Steve drawing Rapunzel while Darcy sat on Bucky's lap, talking animatedly at them both while he sketched. Natasha and Maria Hill were in the common kitchen, whipping up some snacks for everyone. Kate Bishop, the newest addition to their little group, was talking to Thor, Pepper, Clint and Jane, swapping stories about what Thor called _mighty battles_. It was a perfect family setting, and Darcy was getting used to it. Eventually, she drifted away from Bucky after placing a kiss on his stubbly cheek, sitting next to Kate and joining in the conversation.   
Natasha's eyes lingered on the groups, before taking in the look of utter boredom on Bucky's face. She repressed a smile, looking down at the watermelon she was cutting, before pausing and staring at the knife. The pink-red and green of the watermelon, paired with the silver of the blade, brought up a hazy memory of what she and Bucky would do for fun in the Room. She places the knife on the counter, murmurs a 'Be right back' to Maria and walks over to Bucky.

Darcy watches Natasha out of the corner of her eye. The red-head whispers something in Bucky's ear, and instantly the look of boredom is gone, replaced by a mischievous glint as he nods.   
"They're up to something." Kate says, tilting her head as her eyes follow Natasha out of the room.   
"Ya think?" Darcy asks with a raised brow as she watches Bucky stand and move to the kitchenette, grabbing three knives and the pineapple by Maria's elbow.   
"I refuse to take any responsibility for lost limbs." Darcy adds to Kate, and Kate snickers.   
When Natasha walks back in with three table-tennis paddles and hands one to Bucky, Tony speaks loudly, drawing everyone's attention to the two former assassins.   
"Natashalie, what are you doing?" He asks, and her lips quirk into a smirk.   
"Amusing ourselves, Stark." She places the pineapple by her feet, and holds the two paddles in either hand, crossed over her chest with the black facing outward. There's nothing but blank wall behind her, and Bucky stands about six feet in front of her.   
"Target practice." He adds smoothly as he holds one of the knives between his lips, sharp end out. The other sticks out of his belt, and the third is in his right hand. In his left is the third paddle, and before anyone can react, he moves.   
The butt of the knife in his hand makes contact loudly with the paddle, and it spirals to Natasha's left arm. Before it hits her, she turns the paddle in her left hand and the knife goes through it, stopping with a third of the blade sticking out the red side and the rest lodged on the black. Before anyone can stop him, Bucky takes the blade from his mouth and does it again to her right, and she catches it just as easily. She turns the paddles to show them both lodged tightly, before dropping one and picking up the pineapple. Bucky looks over his shoulder at everyone with a wolfish smirk as he tugs the last knife out of his belt loop and Natasha balances the pineapple on her head, one hand holding it firmly. Everyone realizes what he's going to do seconds too late, and he hits the last knife towards Natasha. Kate covers her eyes, Jane squeaks, and Bruce knocks over a bowl of popcorn.   
The knife flies through the air and slices through the pineapple before lodging in the wall. The top of the pineapple falls to the floor, and there's a long, quiet moment before Bruce stumbles out of the room to get his breathing under control, Kate retracts her fingers from their vice-like grip around Darcy's arm, and Tony is the first to speak up.  
"Okay. New rule. Ex-KGB aren't allowed near knives and ping-pong paddles at the same time."  
"Who's for pineapple?" Bucky asks cheekily, and Darcy throws a cushion at him.  
"No." She says firmly, pointing at him. Steve tugs the paddles from Natasha's hands, even as she grins impishly.  
"I'm never going to say this again, but I agree with Tony." Steve asks Natasha. Natasha laughs, ignoring the withering look Maria gives her before going out to check on Bruce.

 

* * *

 

Inspired by: 

**Author's Note:**

> Okay this was just a fun little thing I wrote up because Bored Assassins makes for dangerous fun, and you know it's way too freaky when even Tony Stark is saying no.   
> Anyway, for those following my Bucky/Darcy story, I'm not giving up on it, school just major write-blocked, but I am going to post another Bucky/Darcy I'm working on.   
> Anyhoo, hope you enjoyed!


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